Yes the question to today's post, I was feeling really down and the depression was setting in pretty quick when I had a heck of a lot of time on my hands when I didn't have to plan out YouTube videos. At the point of me ending everything for YouTube, it was a weight off my shoulder but in the long run I felt like The Entertainment Man Talk Show was a complete failure like Durham Entertainment Today ended because it ended the same way The Entertainment Man Talk Show did. It was like dejavu all over again and today I started to think about me leaving YouTube and the series ending out of nowhere and how my channel went downhill very quickly. I haven't been this low in about a year and a half now and not sure why I am having Chris B On The Web Blues again. I thought I would be over leaving YouTube but sometimes when I am on my own, not around friends whatsoever I think I let my mind wander off in my own studio which does not help the situation at all. I have been struggling honestly to rebuild Chris B On The Web and the last 2 years hasn't been an easy re-build but things are slowly settling into place. As you know I have added on The CBOTW Show as a second podcast and I am right on track with all the podcasts at the moment so that shouldn't be dragging me down but the real test is about to come in the New Year when I will be jammed packed in podcasts for "Everything About Reality TV" will be interesting test on top of The CBOTW Show's Music City CMT & Last Man Standing, I will be one busy bee.
Also I think the fact that I am dealing with some personal issues which I rather not disclose what is really going on but I am dealing with a lot right now and it is quite difficult. As right now I am an emotional mess as I went off on several people tonight and I am not happy about it but I think I did what I didn't normally do is talk things out or listen but recently I just been flying off the handle and people pushing my buttons doesn't help which will bring in tomorrow's blog post which I have been dreading to write tomorrow but will be done and I know I have touched on friendships but that is probably one of the reasons why my motivation with Chris B On The Web is lower then usual right now which I will touch on that a lot more tomorrow then tonight as right now as I am sitting here trying to word things properly and my mind is just wondering again and it is quite difficult for me to function but nothing like a good nights sleep to get rested up for another long day. That is tonight's blog post and I apologize for it being so late but I had a busy day with appointments and running errands to get ready for Saturday's trip out of town for several hours and I will be hinting on Instagram where I am with my friend Dave.
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