Having Chris B On The Web Blues Again....

             Yes the question to today's post, I was feeling really down and the depression was setting in pretty quick when I had a heck of a lot of time on my hands when I didn't have to plan out YouTube videos. At the point of me ending everything for YouTube, it was a weight off my shoulder but in the long run I felt like The Entertainment Man Talk Show was a complete failure like Durham Entertainment Today ended because it ended the same way The Entertainment Man Talk Show did. It was like dejavu all over again and today I started to think about me leaving YouTube and the series ending out of nowhere and how my channel went downhill very quickly. I haven't been this low in about a year and a half now and not sure why I am having Chris B On The Web Blues again. I thought I would be over leaving YouTube but sometimes when I am on my own, not around friends whatsoever I think I let my mind wander off in my own studio which does not help the situation at all.  I have been struggling honestly to rebuild Chris B On The Web and the last 2 years hasn't been an easy re-build but things are slowly settling into place. As you know I have added on The CBOTW Show as a second podcast and I am right on track with all the podcasts at the moment so that shouldn't be dragging me down but the real test is about to come in the New Year when I will be jammed packed in podcasts for "Everything About Reality TV" will be interesting test on top of The CBOTW Show's Music City CMT & Last Man Standing, I will be one busy bee. 


                 Also I think the fact that I am dealing with some personal issues which I rather not disclose what is really going on but I am dealing with a lot right now and it is quite difficult. As right now I am an emotional mess as I went off on several people tonight and I am not happy about it but I think I did what I didn't normally do is talk things out or listen but recently I just been flying off the handle and people pushing my buttons doesn't help which will bring in tomorrow's blog post which I have been dreading to write tomorrow but will be done and I know I have touched on friendships but that is probably one of the reasons why my motivation with Chris B On The Web is lower then usual right now which I will touch on that a lot more tomorrow then tonight as right now as I am sitting here trying to word things properly and my mind is just wondering again and it is quite difficult for me to function but nothing like a good nights sleep to get rested up for another long day.  That is tonight's blog post and I apologize for it being so late but I had a busy day with appointments and running errands to get ready for Saturday's trip out of town for several hours and I will be hinting on Instagram where I am with my friend Dave.



Chris

Having The I Miss YouTube Blues....

          With the 2 year anniversary of me leaving YouTube, I admit recently, I feel like I miss YouTube as a whole and I really shouldn't be feeling like this, thought I was over YouTube after a year to a year and a half later on but I guess not... I kind of felt the same way with the supposedly 10th Birthday of The Entertainment Man Talk Show few weeks back on the 23rd of last month. I mean, I'm happy in the podcasts on Audio ONLY and seen quite amazing growth with it, wish I could go back to do the podcast LIVE on YouTube but again, I need to remember I had such an amazing run on YouTube, I had my time on the platform and I am now doing what I love to do and that is podcasting and mind you things have progressed quite well so to speak. 

            Maybe I am actually thinking about the 2 year anniversary, that's all, that could be all, I just having bad memories on how things ended for me? That is what I am thinking, I could just be thinking about the way things ended. I mean everything is coming flowing back with the way things ended, Eric & Larry quitting on me. The Entertainment Man Talk Show ending, me being all over the place towards the end, being unsure.  However, it is still tough to this day, almost 2 years later and I thought I would be over this but apparently I am not for some really odd reason and I just cannot pinpoint why I am suddenly feeling this odd feelings of regret.

            However, I need to realize, I am happier with podcasting and it has indeed been a whirlwind of excitement and craziness with the scheduling of each and every episode of Everything About Reality TV & The CBOTW Show Podcasts. I am always on YouTube still subscribed to my favorite channels still and watch them on my spare time as well, so I am very much still active in the YouTube community but rarely comment on videos but will from time to time if I have a comment to say but I am still part of the community as a listener and fan, not creating content for you guys on the platform anymore. 

Chris