Change Can Be Hard!

              I admit in the past it wasn't easy for me and still isn't from time to time and that is how I have honestly been feeling since once again leaving YouTube. Recently with the change of not doing the podcast on video once again. As you know in the last week it hasn't been good since I got home a few weeks ago from holidays. Ever since it has been hell trying to catch up and get back on a routine. Routine right now isn't too good but with the podcast from last week today at Noon EDT, it will be good to try and get things out on time tomorrow and Friday. I just gotta keep a positive attitude through these rough times. Just gotta make sure I make the time. My problem was I had no time but the bigger issue was I have not been myself honestly, down depressed cause I kind of felt like I let you guys down with the lack of being on a schedule. I know I have tried to promise to stay on the right track for you guys but recently found it extremely hard to stay on the right track. I kind of blame myself for it as I never recovered after the trip and wish I made time as I had that one day all to myself to get caught up on things and there was also a morning that I was up early but other nights I was up half the night unable to sleep and what not so that did not help whatsoever but finally was able to sleep at night and ready to continue to make up for what I have fallen behind on and on schedule again as of tomorrow night.


               Change can be hard and as I stated above, I have not had the easiest time with adjusting to the change honestly. You just have to try and adjust and if you have to adjust scheduling like I have done over time but sometimes it doesn't seem to work so you just gotta figure it out. I know it is not easy but you have to keep on trucking and never give up. I never really did that but yea I really thought about it honestly. There was a point the other day I was ready to say the heck with Everything About Reality TV but then again you guys reminded me why the heck I am doing this podcast and I have had one heck of a run so far and it's nowhere near finished yet and plenty of more episodes and seasons to come. I just gotta keep it up and hoping and saying a prayer for guidance as the last few weeks haven't been the easiest thing for me honestly but it just gives me more oomph to keep on going with the podcast. Yes there will be a day when my podcast will stop all together but I have said this many times in the past that I do have a plan and in time you will know. Last point I would like to make in this post one of the most hardest changes I had to make was the departure and retired from YouTube back in 2016. It took me about 1.5 years to get the hang of things honestly and still hard even to this day. Change can be dealt with but you have to be able to adjust and let the change happen slowly but surely. Trust me it doesn't happen overnight, it will just take some time. Patience is indeed a virtue and you just gotta be patient through the change.




Chris 

Having Chris B On The Web Blues Again....

             Yes the question to today's post, I was feeling really down and the depression was setting in pretty quick when I had a heck of a lot of time on my hands when I didn't have to plan out YouTube videos. At the point of me ending everything for YouTube, it was a weight off my shoulder but in the long run I felt like The Entertainment Man Talk Show was a complete failure like Durham Entertainment Today ended because it ended the same way The Entertainment Man Talk Show did. It was like dejavu all over again and today I started to think about me leaving YouTube and the series ending out of nowhere and how my channel went downhill very quickly. I haven't been this low in about a year and a half now and not sure why I am having Chris B On The Web Blues again. I thought I would be over leaving YouTube but sometimes when I am on my own, not around friends whatsoever I think I let my mind wander off in my own studio which does not help the situation at all.  I have been struggling honestly to rebuild Chris B On The Web and the last 2 years hasn't been an easy re-build but things are slowly settling into place. As you know I have added on The CBOTW Show as a second podcast and I am right on track with all the podcasts at the moment so that shouldn't be dragging me down but the real test is about to come in the New Year when I will be jammed packed in podcasts for "Everything About Reality TV" will be interesting test on top of The CBOTW Show's Music City CMT & Last Man Standing, I will be one busy bee. 


                 Also I think the fact that I am dealing with some personal issues which I rather not disclose what is really going on but I am dealing with a lot right now and it is quite difficult. As right now I am an emotional mess as I went off on several people tonight and I am not happy about it but I think I did what I didn't normally do is talk things out or listen but recently I just been flying off the handle and people pushing my buttons doesn't help which will bring in tomorrow's blog post which I have been dreading to write tomorrow but will be done and I know I have touched on friendships but that is probably one of the reasons why my motivation with Chris B On The Web is lower then usual right now which I will touch on that a lot more tomorrow then tonight as right now as I am sitting here trying to word things properly and my mind is just wondering again and it is quite difficult for me to function but nothing like a good nights sleep to get rested up for another long day.  That is tonight's blog post and I apologize for it being so late but I had a busy day with appointments and running errands to get ready for Saturday's trip out of town for several hours and I will be hinting on Instagram where I am with my friend Dave.



Chris