My Confidence and Motivation Has Been Up and Down Lately...

             First part of this post I would like to talk about is my confidence. I haven't honestly been myself lately. It has been a struggle on a daily basis to get things done on a timely matter which last night was a prime example as Everything About Reality TV was extremely late last night and I will retweet it again in case you guys missed it from late last night. Now I need and promised you guys to be on track and going to try my hardest for the rest of the week. I just gotta get the confidence back and being able to believe in myself which has honestly been shaken. I have been feeling like I can't do this and I was ready to just give up honestly. However over the last couple of years, I have been teaching myself to not quit and give up, to keep the faith in myself and it has helped but this has been one of the hardest times for me with Season 10 of my podcast spanning from end of February to the end of this month (June) it has taken a toll on me as it has been the longest season I have done yet to this day.  However, I was all for the longer season and I am currently struggling with the transition. We all our struggles from time to time and it isn't easy but we seem to get through things. I think now I am feeling a lot more confident now then I did a 24 - 48 hours ago, I just figured out the issue or issues and from there solve the problem then things suddenly sound great again. I had a bit of an argument over our holiday with my parents as I do not like to know last minute. That isn't me, I like to know in advance not the last possible moment. So that didn't help as I needed to tie loose ends before the podcast is on a week and a half hiatus since I will be away down in the U.S. in Boston for 6 days from July 5th - and back on the 11th. But all of that will be explained on Thursday as I have all the information for you guys what is going on and originally was going to do a throwback Thursday story but I am going to wait a week for it.


              The next point and the last point in this post is the motivation. Recently I haven't felt the motivation to get ahead of the game and I hoped to get it done by Friday night but then I could of stayed up extremely late and recorded and start the editing process but I didn't. Plus my sleep has been dragging me down to a point I just wasn't motivated enough to continue on working on it but either way it went up but usually I am very motivated usually but recently that hasn't been the case and maybe I was just tired and the lack of sleep I was getting at the time so that could of had a lot to do with the fact as well. But either way or, I am back to writing posts for the days I am away from CBOTW and you will be seeing over the next few days an updated schedule again here on the website with the vacation day and podcast revised schedule. I will talk more about it by Thursday as I said. It will take some time to build up my confidence and motivation and just gotta keep working on it and not giving up.




Chris 


            

So Overwhelmed Right Now!

            Right now my mind is exploding with feeling overwhelmed with 2 Preview podcasts on the go plus this weeks regular episode. I just need to stay focused as Sunday is the first release of the preview podcasts. Yes I realized it is overlapping but you will see what I mean when we transition into the 11th season.  My worry is getting the recording done then taking too long to edit it and export the file so it can go up. That is my fear, I will procrastinate but with me having a list on my desktop, that will definitely help me. I think I am just feeling fear I will let you guys and have I ever let you guys down, well I did before but that was before and now I am getting better on sticking to a schedule and it seems to be getting better as things progress which is a good thing. I need to stop doubting myself and start to believe in myself more which I keep putting myself down which I honestly need to stop doubting and putting myself down. I think my confidence has been shook up. Maybe I am just letting the stress get to the better of me and I thought I am getting better handling my stress and it feels like I have gone back to my old ways. I should just take it one day at a time at this point and probably today I will get a chance to record the Amazing Race Canada or by the time you guys read this as I wrote this in the wee early morning as I always do everyday minus tomorrow's is already written and scheduled to go up due to me away out of town for the day with Larry.


              Either way I know I can do this if I put my mind to it. I think sometimes I do overthink things and I should just focus on one thing at a time and use my priority list to help me through everything.  My priority should be Big Brother 21 but it is still early in the week and I have till Saturday night to finish so there is plenty of time for me to get things done so I shouldn't really worry about it honestly. Today I know I will have one of the 2 podcasts out and ready to go for next week then the next one will be the Big Brother 21. So I got plenty of time before Sunday and even if I get the editing done on Sunday afternoon then that is fine but I should be recording on Friday at the most so I should be good. Anyways the schedule is Sunday, June 23rd, 2019- Big Brother 21 Preview Podcast @ 9 pm EST and Wednesday, June 26th, 2019- Amazing Race Canada 7 Preview Podcast also @ 9 pm EST. So the schedule will be pretty simple so there should be no issues with me keeping with the workload whatsoever.



Chris