I Admit I've Been Stressed and Depressed...

            As you saw yesterday, I was a bit of stressed but also my depression has been bad since my grandma passed things have been all over the place and the fact I am now opening up a little over 2 months later, I couldn't hide the truth why sometimes, I have been either quiet or going off about stuff and to be honest I should of said something sooner not hide it by having my Community Manager stalling things for me and just telling you guys I needed space right now as I am doing personal things right now. That is the personal things going on with me right now. It will take some time for me to heal but I just need this drama to end as I cannot always be around, there is content to do and what not. 

               Not only that, trying to keep up with Power Rangers Collab hasn't been the best something always came up where I am unable to work on it. I have been trying and I want to get it done and finished by the end of July and why the schedule has been shifted about numerous times but we're getting there. As you know the anniversaries came first before anything else then June and so forth. Anyways that is what has been going on with me and the truth is out and for now on there will be an open door policy moving forward. I will talk to you all tomorrow.

Chris

I Was Stressed Out!

               I was stressed out as the title says. For once it's nothing to do with ChrisBOnTheWeb for once. It's more IRL stuff going on here in Ontario Canada to a point, I am stressed out from arguing, stressed out from worrying about my friends. This weekend I just snapped and ended up blowing off a phone call with a friend and it hasn't happened like this in about a month now where I just didn't wanna talk to anyone. Maybe right now I just need my space to be on my own. I am not going anywhere as of right now and I probably fear that Larry will wanna get together for a hangout which as you know production for Dino Charge is on hold till January and at some point I will get to it and the way I figured it out in my head I should have it done by Christmas.

              That is besides the point that I wanna make, the point is for once it isn't about ChrisBOnTheWeb, it's just personal stuff going on that has been worrying and stressing out right now. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for 2023 and the next season of Entertainment Man Podcast, Power Rangers Collab wrapping up it's last full year of seasons before we get into one offs that we wanna do and of course The CBOTW Show as well. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I just didn't do anything, I fiddled with the website and played video games. However, today I am back to editing grind and getting all the seasons done by end of this weekend so I can type and maybe we could possibly still record. Anyways that is my post, I will talk to you all tomorrow!

Chris

Let's Talk Stress

              I admit the stress levels have been up the past month now and I haven't been able to deal with stress. Last week was a big example of me not being able to handle it as you know I was restricted from Facebook twice which I didn't do anything nor broke any rules nor Larry, Chloe or Amy wouldn't report me so someone decided to false report me and get me in trouble with the platform. I give too many chances to be honest to certain people and honestly I need to stop giving so many chances that is my problem. I should implement with CBOTW a 3 strike system, once your on strike 3 your gone.  I've been named called, accused and screwed over for podcasts. It really has  affected me and there is a system to how you can get your podcast into my network. Right now it's just friends I am allowing cause of the events in the last 2 years. 

              This is me starting in a fresh start. Once I block, I do not unblock. Not going to let anyone bring ChrisBOnTheWeb down this year. This website has done extremely well and has shown a lot of promise and progress. Especially with Amy's podcast now back on video once again we keep on growing this thing from here on out. I need to learn to deal with my stress levels and know my limit for working on things and taking that break when I need to take a break from things for an hour or so. I stress very easily and last Monday was a proof of it. I know with the Facebook drama I didn't deal with it well as In was in one of my moods the rest of the afternoon. When I got home a week ago, I ate dinner then was in bed afterwards and not up till nearly 3 am the next morning. Even the next morning I was emotionally and physically tired from the previous day and just did my own thing during the day. Wasn't upstairs much during the day and stayed down in my studio most of the day. Anyways that is my post, I will talk to you all tomorrow have a great rest of your day!

Chris

I Am On A Sabbatical As Owner of ChrisBOnTheWeb

                  As the title says I am taking a break or Sabbatical from running the day to day Operations which now now has been handed over to Charlotte for the day to day operations of the website and team. Couple of reasons for that is 1) I'm stressed 24-7 and need to try and now destress and I am going to if crap stops happening over this way. 2) My grandma has been not well since getting the vaccine for this virus as Jasmine would say, the Backstreet Reunion Tour (LOL.) 3) Now that Entertainment Man Podcast is gone, I have been depressed and dealing with that too. 4) Getting over some drama and always seems to be more added to the list to be honest. 5) The amount of hate, disrespect and being blocked for no apparent reason. Those are my reasons behind why I have taken myself away from CBOTW and why I am not as involved with the team at this time. I know I have been accused of so many different things recently which is beyond what I can believe and it is hard honestly to take this crap from people.

                   However I will still be active on the blog Tuesdays - Fridays on our normal blogging days, I'll be active on Twitter and Instagram posting up stuff but as for the decisions I will not be involved with for the time being while I deal with and get my mental health better then it has been with recently which is the upmost importance to me. Also the Podcasts you will hear my voice but I need to be upfront and honest with all that is happening with my Grandma not doing well, Jasmine will be taking over this week at the most, Thursday at least, I may pop back on Saturday, we'll see how that is goes but more then likely Jasmine will do both this week while I deal with all this and I know they will be happy to take over as long as I need and this is why I have an amazing team, we back each other up either way. When will I return back to ChrisBOnTheWeb? I couldn't honestly tell you guys at this point, now is definitely not the time to make that decision at this moment. I am taking my time with the decision to return and I hope it's soon to be honest and I may wait till my Facebook Ban is over but we will. I just wanted to be more open why I am taking time away and not hide the real truth behind why I haven't said anything and honest reason is I had posts already scheduled for last week and why I have decided to push it to today.

Chris

Mental Health Has Not Been So Great Lately....

          I have to say today's post wasn't easy to come up with and I say starting at the blank canvas of the blog on the back side of the website trying to come up with what to write and it finally came to me I want to talk about my Mental Health recently. First of all I was going to do a food review but then I ate before leaving to go out to Pickering for the day so that food review was thrown out the window but will happen again in the very nearby future indeed next time we are out there, I promise to do that for sure! Now my mental health hasn't been great and it started at the end of July into early with a situation which I will not name any names but I asked them to leave a group I run and come back as I did something stupid and they did only half so I think that is when the stress started was from there. Then being blocked for no reason but really I do not care at this point what they do, I won't say anything to them from here on out and that is honestly my choice I can only make. Also I lost friends over the weekend which I did something I regret doing now and that is I scratched my hand open and haven't done that in months now and honestly I do not want to be doing this to myself ever again. I need to work on that and I am going to. I have been self talking myself out of it but for the most part it has worked but I need to add one more thing to ensure it doesn't happen again. Now I was suppose to volunteer at a Kar Show Friday but I started to feel overwhelmed and I made the decision to focus on my mental health right now.


              Today is a better day so far but every couple of days I seem to still have those moments and I just do not know why it's happening. Maybe I am just am just overwhelmed right now and I am letting it just get to me perhaps. I shouldn't but least I am now recognizing what is going on with me in my life and it has indeed helped me in the long run but still work to be done honestly. However the fact I am able to know what is going on with me is a big plus. I honestly think that there is too much going on for me right now from keeping up with blog posts, podcasts and some other stuff that involves this very website that has now been put up on hold for right now. I will be talking about it this evening on the blog here so do not worry but right now I have to figure things right now and it is all about me right now and focusing on myself which is now a priority right now.



Chris

Knowing When To Stop or Slow Down....

            I haven't done one of these advice posts in a while. Sometimes you need know when to stop and the example I have is that I have not stopped in 7 months now up to the point of me just feeling burnt out but not clue how on earth I manage to keep on going or manage to continue. The point is sometimes you need to take a step back and say stop. You need a break from things and that is my flaw is that I always have to be doing something that is my issue honestly. But sometimes you just gotta say no, that's enough, take a break from whatever you are doing, whether you are a YouTuber, Podcaster or Blogger at some point you sure as heck do need a mental break from things and just sit back and relax and just have time to yourself but with me I just refused to do that and wait till the last minute on things no wonder I am stressed the heck out 24-7. It seems that I end up procrastinating till the last second but the problem is I pile it on too much at a time so that doesn't help whatsoever and it is my fault entirely to not stopping. This can be a great example to you guys to sometimes stop and rest you're mind which you need from time to time. I mean you cannot go without a break it is just not healthy whatsoever.


            Now sometimes you need to just slow down and not over do it in a day. I do recommend to do a schedule this way you guys know what the heck you are doing each and everyday and to limit what you do but I understand you gotta get things done but I mean for example for me if it is a day for the podcast, then that is my main focus for the day. Recently been focusing on two different things at once recently tho with both this blog and getting the podcasts out before I go away on holidays so it was understandable while I was multi tasking but sometimes you just gotta slow down and take your time and actually take time to yourself as well. Either way I hope this sort of helps you if you feel stressed out and just do not know what to do is to slow down or just say stop if it is non work related and you will feel much better and I feel a ton better since getting back from holidays with my parents and raring to go once again. Final note is that starting tomorrow, I will be writing blog posts on the day of the post going up. Everything is going back to normal and a special announcement post tomorrow as well. 



Chris

My Confidence and Motivation Has Been Up and Down Lately...

             First part of this post I would like to talk about is my confidence. I haven't honestly been myself lately. It has been a struggle on a daily basis to get things done on a timely matter which last night was a prime example as Everything About Reality TV was extremely late last night and I will retweet it again in case you guys missed it from late last night. Now I need and promised you guys to be on track and going to try my hardest for the rest of the week. I just gotta get the confidence back and being able to believe in myself which has honestly been shaken. I have been feeling like I can't do this and I was ready to just give up honestly. However over the last couple of years, I have been teaching myself to not quit and give up, to keep the faith in myself and it has helped but this has been one of the hardest times for me with Season 10 of my podcast spanning from end of February to the end of this month (June) it has taken a toll on me as it has been the longest season I have done yet to this day.  However, I was all for the longer season and I am currently struggling with the transition. We all our struggles from time to time and it isn't easy but we seem to get through things. I think now I am feeling a lot more confident now then I did a 24 - 48 hours ago, I just figured out the issue or issues and from there solve the problem then things suddenly sound great again. I had a bit of an argument over our holiday with my parents as I do not like to know last minute. That isn't me, I like to know in advance not the last possible moment. So that didn't help as I needed to tie loose ends before the podcast is on a week and a half hiatus since I will be away down in the U.S. in Boston for 6 days from July 5th - and back on the 11th. But all of that will be explained on Thursday as I have all the information for you guys what is going on and originally was going to do a throwback Thursday story but I am going to wait a week for it.


              The next point and the last point in this post is the motivation. Recently I haven't felt the motivation to get ahead of the game and I hoped to get it done by Friday night but then I could of stayed up extremely late and recorded and start the editing process but I didn't. Plus my sleep has been dragging me down to a point I just wasn't motivated enough to continue on working on it but either way it went up but usually I am very motivated usually but recently that hasn't been the case and maybe I was just tired and the lack of sleep I was getting at the time so that could of had a lot to do with the fact as well. But either way or, I am back to writing posts for the days I am away from CBOTW and you will be seeing over the next few days an updated schedule again here on the website with the vacation day and podcast revised schedule. I will talk more about it by Thursday as I said. It will take some time to build up my confidence and motivation and just gotta keep working on it and not giving up.




Chris 


            

We Need To Talk.... Serious Talk Right Now!

               Right now things are not going too well for me, stressed out to the max thinking I am not going to be able to handle the transition and normally it's not too bad but with the stress of trying to figure things out, it hasn't been easy transition plus trying to schedule around my vacation time in July when I am out in Boston and Maine for a holiday to see the East Coast in the USA. Anyways I was starting to get those negative thoughts in my head and I have been trying to keep a level head on things with positivity but recently reverted back to the negative Nelly and it isn't me to be this way normally. Also I have been feeling like I have burnt myself out to a point I am starting to question myself as a podcaster and if I really need a break from things. However the issue that I am having is the fact I already agreed to continue on with the podcast during the summer months ago so it was really out of my hands honestly. I cannot do anything about it, when I say something I stick to my word on things and that is the kind of person I am, I like to keep my promises and so what if I am a little burnt out right now, not like I have gotten a bit more of energy or a second wind on things when I have started to feel this way and honestly I have been only podcasting for a few weeks with a once a once a week schedule.


                 So it is not easy last while honestly as I have been struggling to transition seasons. Now what I could of done was just continued on with the 10th season but yet my folder that holds up all the notes is pretty full up now and time to transition to another folder as this one has officially filled up as the season wraps, the folder fills up very quickly. Maybe a lot of this has to stem with the fact that today marks me leaving YouTube for good and being retired from the platform, maybe that is what is on my mind the past week as I was and have been thinking about it. It has been a long 3 years and I have done such an amazing job with rebuilding the website and the CBOTW brand and there is nothing wrong with a break and it has been very easy few weeks however things have really sped up and yes I realize I took a blog break yesterday as I wasn't thinking too clearly honestly. I started to think clearly and I thought about you guys honestly. I wanna say thank you for the continuous love and support, through the thick and thin of things, I always manage to get myself out of issues I am having with Chris B On The Web and I do this for you guys, not just for myself but for you guys as well.




Chris

I Was Going Bat Crazy At The End of September.

              I admit I went a bit crazy at the end of September but that is what happens when you end up with tons of things on your plate. If you know I have a blog to write everyday and on top of that a podcast record weekly as well which sure as heck makes me one busy person. Also it is that time of the year where I am preparing for The Autism Celebration which is a week tomorrow and I will talk more about and I have been busy prepping and no time to actually talk about it at the moment but it is coming in less then 2 days and I will talk more about the details about the event. But I admit it, I am not even done with the board for the Autism Celebration as there has been other projects on the go for me so it has been quite hard and I admit I am having doubts how the heck to do the actual board and I am questioning it all together as it doesn't look right but it will look great regardless what I think about it in the end. I have a week to finish this up or I will not get any of this done if I just let it sit there and not do a darn thing but tomorrow will be working it.


                I think I found it hard with the work load but I didn't really feel the motivation before I left for Minnesota but now since I have been back I have been working extra hard. I hope tonight to work on the Autism Celebration booth I have planned. I know I am not having it tonight as last night was once again really tough in the sleep department but I think I will sleep fine tonight for once. However, I struggle the next night still so I am not sure what is the problem. I think all of this has to do with the two things I said above at the end of September, sleep which I have gone back to my old ways with my dang sleep. The second part is the work load and how I handle it but I am getting defintiely better at handling my stress and there will be a post about that soon how I am able to handle my stress and how I am able to handle things much better. That is my post for today, it is not as long as the last couple of days but yea I was going a bit bat crazy towards the end of the month but we all do from time to time when we got a lot on our plate! 



Chris

Stress!

            Stress is not a good feeling to have honestly. It messes with your head and sometimes it makes you want to just give up and not give a damn about what you love to do. In this blog today I will be talking about stress and also what you can do when you are stressed out like I have been for the last 11 months since leaving YouTube. 

           So one thing that can get you stressed out is getting over worked, doing too many things at once and I had that problem last year when I was still on YouTube I over worked myself and that isn't good, you have panic attacks, you end up wanting to say is this worth it anymore? You get too much work to do to the point you just don't want to do it anymore, you just want to give up on what you love to do. Going back to the post yesterday if you are stressed out and not feeling you are into this anymore, just follow your heart and do what makes you happy and that doesn't stress you out, like for me YouTube just became a chore each and everyday and I was getting stressed out, not only that but my team getting on my nerves and being disrespectful got to me I just had it with the team situation. Also the fact my channel kind of died and lost views after The Entertainment Man ended kind of put me into a downward spiral. These are a good prime example of a stressful situation that isn't a good thing to have.

             Stress or having stress isn't healthy to have, especially on a daily basis and you need to have a way to deal with the stress. One way to deal with the stress is to put the most important task on the top of the list, here is an example below:

                  1. Blog post
                2. Podcast

                And so forth that is a small example that is one way to deal with the stress. Also you can utilize your calendar whether it is a digital version of a calendar on Google or wherever you would like online but also you can use your physical calendar on your desk to schedule the tasks you have or if you got appointments like I always have appointments to go to every week, I am always out and about at appointments on a regular basis and I always bring my calendar with me in my portfolio book to book the next appointment so I recommend to do the same so this way you can book the next appointment and you go into your calendar and see, oh I have another appointment 2 weeks this day or next week, this way you do not forget or I have to do this on this set day and make sure its done and ready for the due date you pick. There is many ways to deal with stress, if it is just very, very overwhelming take a break for a few hours or for the day and deal with it the next day which I will get into taking a break in a future blog post in the upcoming days but sometimes you just need to decompress and I did that after Big Brother Canada finished it's 5th season, took the entire weekend off and went on a mini break. Also if you are stressed out go to a dollar store and buy a stress ball and slowly not fast squeeze trust me I've done it and tried it and it has helped but stupid me I lost the stress ball and gotta find it or get a new one. Hope this helps you guys that feel stressed out and I am not a professional help just another human being giving advice and any questions please feel free to contact me through the contact page of my website here: chrisbontheweb.com/contact/ 

Have a great night everyone!



Chris

Not Been The Greatest...

This is the hardest blog I have ever written, so much rushing through my mind right now to what to say.... Since more friends wanna turn their backs on me, it has put me into a complete tail spin of a downward spiral, I had one heck of a meltdown and hurt myself pretty bad. Today my mood is kind of somber, I am very quiet, haven't had much to eat just toast and peanut butter and probably wont be eating anything else today. I threw my Contigo cup against the old TV and I'm surprised it didn't crack the freakin screen. I doubt it'd work over the abuse its had recently... Ha ha. I am trying to smile a lot more today but its hard to crack a smile with the recent situation. I've pretty well turned on a group of people who care so much about me and my well being, but at this point I feel like I can't trust certain people, feel like I am unable to trust anyone who is my friend because they will turn on me in a dime. Had that happened this year with 3 people and 2 last year being 2 long friendships that have it's best times and it's worst times. I've been avoiding Facebook this week so far but minimal communication with people, such as people who have IM'd me back to make sure I am ok and also my Staff (My Team) I am keeping direct contact with so I can make sure everything is still going to plan. YES! I am trying to keep things as normal as possible when it comes to the operating of Chris B On The Web. I may be dealing with my Mental Health right now but I still want to get stuff out too as well ON Time and not fall behind like last year. Even if I ended up in the hospital, I probably be behind a few podcasts if I stayed over night or a few days but glad I am home and resting and trying to deal with this on my own terms which I should give props for as I am giving it my will power to try and deal with this on my own and I know I do have the option to walk into the Emergency to the crisis unit to talk to someone if I felt like I am still out of control and I feel out of control in my head still, my head is all over the place right now dealing with this, just not sure where my head is at these days with all the friendships falling apart and I just do not know who my friends are anymore in my real life, I just don't feel like I am wanted on Facebook and close to 100% wanting to delete my Facebook account and give certain friends and family my email to keep in touch, that's it.  I got till Sunday as I am taking the week off from the site to decided whether I am returning to Facebook or not. Now mind you I got family on there and high school and college friends, however maybe I need to be careful who I add and trust around my email and Facebook friends list at this point. Yes this is real life friends too I am talking about. Anyways that is the update what is going on with me and why I have been a bit quiet on Twitter and behind the podcasts especially.


Have a great night!


Chris