My Head has Been Going Crazy The Last Several Days!

          It has been crazy the last few days inside my head, I had a lot of drama to deal with, stress of ChrisBOnTheWeb and drama in the community.... Yeah their has been community drama again from former staff. I'm done giving chances to people. I've been wish I'd have the virus and die from it. People are truly sickening. No wonder I've been unable to focus on content cause of people being jerks for no apparent reason. 

        My head hasn't been in the game recently but I have been trying hard to get things done and I have been, trust me. It has been one thing after another of problems. I probably had to update things on the website too and too much on my plate right at this time. However I am trying and am going to aim to be finished all the notes for the next podcast by Wednesday next week so I can focus. I have had a lot on my plate lately and need to re-focus and get things done at a bit of a faster pace. Anyways that is what is going on with me right now, I will talk to you guys tomorrow.

Chris

I Was Stressed Out!

               I was stressed out as the title says. For once it's nothing to do with ChrisBOnTheWeb for once. It's more IRL stuff going on here in Ontario Canada to a point, I am stressed out from arguing, stressed out from worrying about my friends. This weekend I just snapped and ended up blowing off a phone call with a friend and it hasn't happened like this in about a month now where I just didn't wanna talk to anyone. Maybe right now I just need my space to be on my own. I am not going anywhere as of right now and I probably fear that Larry will wanna get together for a hangout which as you know production for Dino Charge is on hold till January and at some point I will get to it and the way I figured it out in my head I should have it done by Christmas.

              That is besides the point that I wanna make, the point is for once it isn't about ChrisBOnTheWeb, it's just personal stuff going on that has been worrying and stressing out right now. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for 2023 and the next season of Entertainment Man Podcast, Power Rangers Collab wrapping up it's last full year of seasons before we get into one offs that we wanna do and of course The CBOTW Show as well. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I just didn't do anything, I fiddled with the website and played video games. However, today I am back to editing grind and getting all the seasons done by end of this weekend so I can type and maybe we could possibly still record. Anyways that is my post, I will talk to you all tomorrow!

Chris

Not Sure Where My Heads At Right Now....

               With everything happening here at CBOTW Studios, I do not know what to do with ChrisBOnTheWeb right now. Everything is a mess and times ticking to getting the notes done so I guess first step is working on the notes first between today and tomorrow I need to put a dent into the notes so I can get it done before a week tomorrow that is the most ultimate goal for right now. I will be recording either Friday or Saturday morning so it will be a last minute recording session if I need to but these notes are # 1 priority at this moment. 

              I promise you guys I will have the episode for Sunday ready and raring to go for Sunday. I know it's immense pressure but I strive under pressure when it comes to getting things out and getting things done for recording sessions with Larry especially. I just gotta get my head straightened out so I can focus on the task at hand as I will be making a b-line straight to the end of the year as I still got two more seasons to work on so I will be working a lot and I'll be home more anyways as my mom having surgery done tomorrow so will be home more taking care of her. That is the post for today, I will talk to you all tomorrow for the end of the week updates.

Chris

Taking a Bit of a Step Back This Week

                  Not been in the right place mentally. Fighting with friends, not being respected for wanting space on myself and not listening to drama on the Facebook group. I have done away with the Group and back on the fan page and reached out to people about rejoining via the fan page but we'll see. I hate to come to this point of success on a page then having to shut it down cause of non sense drama.  Starting to wonder if I should of just stayed on the fan page in 2020 and not moved and just ban off the trouble makers. This is my own fault for no sticking to it cause I was well over 60 likes on that page too. I am the one to blame for this mess and I should of just stuck it out on the fan page, the original fan page and not give so many chances. However that is not the point of the post and when I need space, I need space. People need to respect that and I am proud of myself for wanting space but people need to be able to give it to me and when I'm ready I will answer. 

                  Right now I am not all there right now in the head. My head is not all there and maybe it is best I take a step back and just take it easy on myself. I know I promised to be on The After Show With Amy F but maybe it is best I just postpone till Finale and hoping by then things start to settle down for me and get better. I know Amy is going to see this before I have a chance to talk about this but this is just me thinking what is best for me at this moment. I  have even considered not recording an episode for Sunday and take some time away from the podcast which you will still get an episode Thursday but nothing on Sunday, that is my original thoughts at the moment but the show must go on and I promised to be back on YouTube this weekend and I will. Just taking a bit of a backroad this week and NOT work on Power Rangers Collab for the next episode. What I have planned is to take care of my mental health and write some new episodes for my podcast. If I am up to it, edit Samurai which is very  miminal stress on me. So that is what is going on and my post for today, I will be back tomorrow with another random post as I really do not have anything pre scheduled or planned so I will talk to you all tomorrow. 

Chris

Let's Talk Stress

              I admit the stress levels have been up the past month now and I haven't been able to deal with stress. Last week was a big example of me not being able to handle it as you know I was restricted from Facebook twice which I didn't do anything nor broke any rules nor Larry, Chloe or Amy wouldn't report me so someone decided to false report me and get me in trouble with the platform. I give too many chances to be honest to certain people and honestly I need to stop giving so many chances that is my problem. I should implement with CBOTW a 3 strike system, once your on strike 3 your gone.  I've been named called, accused and screwed over for podcasts. It really has  affected me and there is a system to how you can get your podcast into my network. Right now it's just friends I am allowing cause of the events in the last 2 years. 

              This is me starting in a fresh start. Once I block, I do not unblock. Not going to let anyone bring ChrisBOnTheWeb down this year. This website has done extremely well and has shown a lot of promise and progress. Especially with Amy's podcast now back on video once again we keep on growing this thing from here on out. I need to learn to deal with my stress levels and know my limit for working on things and taking that break when I need to take a break from things for an hour or so. I stress very easily and last Monday was a proof of it. I know with the Facebook drama I didn't deal with it well as In was in one of my moods the rest of the afternoon. When I got home a week ago, I ate dinner then was in bed afterwards and not up till nearly 3 am the next morning. Even the next morning I was emotionally and physically tired from the previous day and just did my own thing during the day. Wasn't upstairs much during the day and stayed down in my studio most of the day. Anyways that is my post, I will talk to you all tomorrow have a great rest of your day!

Chris

Noticed Some Days Are Better Then Others!

                    The las tweek or so has been tough on me with the stress and drama on my team I've found myself at times, distancing myself from the team and social media aspect of this. I shouldn't ever be doing that, I need to keep being active and tweeting minus last night which we had a power outage in studio  and that put me over the edge as I was suppose to  technically suppose to talk  to Eric which I am by this morning by the time you guys are reading this. I notice I am flying off the handle with my team and they realize this too and been super patient with my mood swings in and out. I notice when I get in my moods also, I get quite angry and I also can become very quiet or I still have a really bad habit of running my mouth which isn't good at all. I rather just go quiet when I'm in one of my moods more then anything to be quite honest. 

                    Other days I am happy and smiling and talkative and today is one of those days despite being up at 1:30 am EST this morning. Today is a bit of a better day and I am putting behind the past and going to move forward because great things are coming to the podcast, I can tell you guys that. I just gotta keep positive and yes the days I am up during the night cause I sleep early, I am not afraid to take a nap if I need to and I will for sure. I am stuck at home my sleeping habits have been off kilter then normally and I expected that to happen but I am taking it one day at a time and that is all I can really do. That is my post for today, I will talk to you all tomorrow!

Chris

How Am I Handling My Mental Health?

            Today I wanna focus on how I am dealing with it. Some days are are good where I am fully functioning and other days not so much such as Saturday into Sunday as I got devasting news with a former site admin has passed away on top of the other sad news as well, it's just overwhelming for me and we all mourn differently and one of the reasons why I sometimes am quiet. I'm not bottling it in, just the way I am dealing with all of this really. I know and I hear this from my team every single day that my mental health comes first and I know that but if I take time for myself then I fall behind schedule. I should take time at least an hour or two if I am feeling down and I did on the weekend. An unhappy Chris is a unmotivated person like I have been recently. Sometimes I just do not wanna take my medication for my Autism and that is no excuse to skip it because I am totally not myself.

            I need to stay on the medication or I will not be able to focus and get the job done. I know I have a website to go on or phone numbers to call but I just do not feel like talking to anyone about what's going on but might have to force myself to make the call or send the text out. I need to be focused to get things out at a timely fashion. Yes work is a priority and I enjoy Executive Producing and Hosting Podcasts but I have to remember I as a person comes first. It is not easy to stay positive and in the last year, been working hard to becoming a more positive person and be happier. Last week, Thursday afternoon I was happy because I was getting vaccinated and that put a smile so I am starting to smile but it's one thing and one day at a time. Anyways that is what I have to say and I promise to work on getting better and thank you from th bottom of my heart to those who have checked in on me. I will see you all in my next post tomorrow.

Chris

My Sleep Is So Messed Up!

             The reason I was not posting up yesterday was because I was asleep same reason for Facebook and Twitter posts we were up half the night then sleeping majority of the day, sleep has become an issue for me especially and last night was the same thing I was up all or half the night hence I have been busy writing posts like crazy and that is good because that inspiration is back and yesterday I had absolutely no inspiration, nothing when it came to posts but that inspiration has come back and I seem to be back into a more of a smoother rhythm of things. I did not write tomorrow's post as I do need to do a weigh in tomorrow morning to see where my weight is and I think it's gone down as my shirts and pants seem a lot looser then usual so never know and I haven't been eating much since I've been sleeping most of the day and today I think it a new day for me even if I do indeed stay up all day and in bed after Tough as Nails. That would definitely be an ideal situation. However my physical and mental health comes first but since waking up at 11 pm I feel good and if I am silent on social's I have gone down for a few hour nap nothing else. 

              I do have to take care of myself even if I live in my studio 99.999% of the time during the BBCAN9 Season watching the live feeds non stop.  Don't worry moving forward I am going to make sure I sleep and get the work done and my goal for right now is to be in bed by 9 and up by 4 am EST like I was and if I can keep a rhythm like that going then I will be golden and it will help me with my mental health and the work too which mind you I probably could give you guys an update Friday if I am not ready for a weight loss update and honestly I do need to get back to those eventually but I could possibly wait another week and give you guys the Dino Thunder Update as I have been active with it recently and trying to get finished so I can start working on SPD so we can get back to recording in Late May, June and July on this series. Either way stay tuned for further updates!

Chris

Update on Chris and How He is Doing

            Chris, well he's hanging in there and has been dealing with the Mental Health and his sleep has been off and still is off he sleeps in the evenings and up during the nights however the positive thing is he is sleeping full 7 - 8 hours and up around 1 or 2 in the morning. The next step for him is to actually get to bed a little later then usual and he will have that opportunity soon as he has an interview Thursday to do with Larry so opportunity is knocking to fix his sleep. However he is in good spirits right now and working hard on content and working on that new feature as that has become the bigger project and from time to time he works on Dino Thunder as well. Management Team and Discord Moderators and you guys are keeping him in good spirits right now and he makes his occasional visit to the Discord.

           He is working hard even if he has to nap he will nap to get his energy back up. I believe he's picked up the workload quite quickly and very affectively and he is nowhere near stopping as he has done an amazing job on content and also the way the server has grown very quickly. Chris continues to grow the Discord server and we continue on this growth in the community. I will be talking about that on Saturday's post but for now, I ensure you Chris will be just fine and give him some time he will get to more a normal sleep pattern and he is working hard on the sleep issue and I know he will fix this and get back into a routine, it will just take sometime for him. Chris wanted me to add that he will be back blogging first thing Monday and cannot wait to update you guys on things.

Matt, Site Admin/CBOTW Management

This Is Why Chris Is Away From Blogging This Week....

               There is a lot of reasons why Chris is away from blogging this week and today's post I will explain it all. It has nothing to do with you guys, just stress and mental health and we really do not wanna see him like this.

- Sleep- First thing is work is not a problem, he gets a ton done per day but it is hard with his sleep being out of sync and him sleeping in the evenings and up all night and day his sleep is pretty well out of wack right now. If he's not working he's asleep in bed and not working on content.

- Mental Health-- He has been struggling with this entire Pandemic all together and it has been a very big part of this entire issue. What I heard he was entirely fine Pre-COVID-19 but now not so much and it has affected his work performance in the recent week. He is trying to keep in good spirits but some days are better then others.

-  Workload--  He has made some progress with content and continue to work on it despite not sleeping but this week he wants to focus on the content and get things rolling for content is another great reason why he's not going to be around this week.

                  I know you are going to ask about the Discord? He may pop in the Discord from time to time and I know he sees all your wonderful positive comments and feedback in the Discord even if he is working away on content. He will be just fine, this Pandemic has thrown his sleep and mental health and he really hopes that this pandemic ends soon as it's affected him greatly. You will see him on social media, Discord throughout the days but as blog he's off the blog for the time being but more then likely he'll be back next Monday with new posts hopefully.

Matt, CBOTW Admin/Management Team

Chris Is Not Happy With Net Issues Continue To Be A Problem!

               Chris is not happy and refuses to make blog posts and no clue whatsoever if he will be posting at all this week or I will be covering for him all week. I will explain what's going on. Last night we were testing out the live studio feed and his internet giving him issues and he's already spoken to Rogers Help and they say they are going monitor it for 10 days and email him an update and last time they said that it never happened. Total lie and he's on the fence and doesn't want anything to do with Rogers and has considered another internet company if he finally is on his own. Long story short, he is been in a mood since yesterday and hasn't said a word to me and has even told Larry that he's OFFICIALLY cancelled recording this week which is delaying the podcast yet again. He's really not in any mood right now and if he don't answer please do not be offended. 

              I will be around on both Facebook Page and Twitter throughout the day if you have any questions or concerns to what's going on with him. Really worried about his well being and his mental health. I know for a fact his mental health has gone downhill and maybe a week away from blog posts is what he needs to get his head back in the game again. He's deleted all the chat accounts and I've already removed the live pages as both the actual live page and the Live--Beta Test pages as both are now gone from the website back end of the website. He was really excited for this feature and the fact you guys get to see what he is doing during the week but cause of the net issues he's really in a bad mood and not sure how long this will actually last. I now wonder what is going on with the collab and he's cancelled the anniversary collab and sounding like no podcast at all this week at all and production is back to a stand still again. I can see why this podcast is going on Hiatus as of the conclusion of Dino Thunder. I guess I will talk to you guys tomorrow unless he comes around and is in a better mood but if anything changes please do check the social media if things change. I am more then happy to post for him while he's stepping away to figure things out.

Joe

My Motivation Hasn't Been All There Lately....

                   The last while, I am noticed that I haven't been motivated to work whatsoever as I have been dealing with depression and mental health being stuck in Isolation nearly 8 months now and it has been a struggle. I have been really trying to get the workload done and finished and I managed to finish it. I have to realize this, I have to put my priorities in order and I have been good to do that. With not being as motivated has put both Larry and I behind schedule with the Collaboration Podcast and it is my fault. honestly. I wasn't prioritizing myself properly. Today for example I know what I have to do is get the podcast recorded this morning for the weekend, edit and I am sure while I edit I will end up start the next collab podcast while waiting for the recording of the current one to happen. Anyways I need to remember to know when to stop with the workload and I need to stop at like 3 or 4 pm EST or even take breaks to help me get refocused and keep on the right track.

                    I know I haven't been overly active on Social much and lost tons of followers but I need to remember to make posts from time to time.  In the end my Mental Health is the most important thing for me to get under control first and that is why some days you don't see much in making many posts at this moment and I promise you guys I need to get posting a ton more during the day. I made a video post yesterday which is very rare I do anymore as I am just busy with the work. I need to be more on the ball with being active on Social Medias and I know when I am depressed like I have been, I tend to not say anything.  I should be a bit more open with you guys to be honest to how I am feeling and the fact I have been working non stop doesn't help with my depression nor the motivation of bringing out content especially on time like today which is extremely late coming out but that's OK we have lives to live. In the end I really need to buck down on social media posts more and start making a ton of posts as recently lost a ton of followers.

Chris

I Was Wild and Crazy and Totally Messed Up At Times.....

                 You probably wondering on today's title and I will explain in a moment. Yes I missed a post the other day and I am deeply sorry about that but got busy with the collab stuff and getting close to finished. In fact I was up late last night and worked on it once I fixed the graphics for the banners for my brand but that will be explained on tomorrow's post. Anyways to today's post is about how I was wild and crazy and messed up at times. Now I will not say exactly but there was a day I said I went off my meds again and I was really out of control. I am a lot more calmer minus the times something peeves me off but that is normal. Also I was really messed up when I ended both my YouTube Career and web series The Entertainment Man Talk Show. I made some not nice things. I was bitter. I didn't realize I didn't talk to Eric and Larry for a long time after they quit. I was really ticked. One thing I noticed was the fact I had choice words I wish I could go back and not say it. I cannot delete every single thing I said but I did erase some. It would take me a long time to erase every single not so nice tweet in the past.

                   However this is now, I have matured as a person and gotten a 0 tolerance for crap from people. I have learned if I need to block I can. I just am not letting hate bother me no more is what I am trying to say. Life is too short to deal with drama and crap at this point. I am getting older and a lot more wiser for someone who is about to turn to 35 in a month almost. Do I regret some of the things I said? Yes of course I do. I am careful what I say now on Twitter and honestly bite my tongue when someone says something I do not like. I have come too far honestly. I have changed a lot and been focused and yes I know I have had my mental health issues this year and been like this for the past year on and off but I am relentless with the content no matter what, especially if I am feeling down or not, I am starting to be able to just deal with it and in a different way, even with negative feedback or comments thrown. I am making sure I watch my P's and Q's and been very well keeping positive as much as possible.

Chris

Been Feeling Distant From ChrisBOnTheWeb and Creating Content

                 The last few days have been rough since Friday night and someone saying really rude things to me that helped me with the notes stuff and your wondering how they are able to i scanned the notes and sent them over that's how I did it. Anyways last time I really worked on any of that was Thursday when I worked the entire day to get myself to EP # 15 as I said in yesterday's blog post. Yesterday I most definitely did work on it to ensure I get it finished this week so I can start working on the next one and try and keep on a schedule as I have had questions to when the next recording is as him and I are now not on speaking terms again and kind of my own fault for going off and maybe I just need a few days away from him to think things through and right now I have him on ignore but that could change later on. Yes we are behind schedule and we're trying to catch up on this and with me always getting mad and threatening to stop the podcast again. I am at a point this has become a common thread that I am unsure with the future of this podcast and the fact I am unsure if I wanna continue. I can say this, Larry and I almost 2 weeks ago spoke about the end point of the Power Rangers Collaboration Podcast but really I never want it to end at this point. It gives me that time to spend with Larry even if it is through Skype with these uncertainty of times for all of us. 

               I am really struggling with getting things done and one day at a time and I know Larry will talk things out with me. Little tidbit I wasn't planning to record the next Collab Podcast till March of April technically. I wanna make sure we are back on track again and ensure we are on the right path. I know I have not bee in the greatest spirit and I appreciate each one of you reaching out me and I promise you guys I am getting back to the grind and I will announce to when the podcast notes is done and the announcement to when Larry and I are recording and don't worry it's not far off. It can sooner then you think. Like I said to Eric, I have that I don't really care attitude as I'm not letting trolls bother me no more.

Chris

Chris Is On A Partial Leave of Absence...

           Well, you trolls won... You drove poor Chris to insanity and stress. He pours his time and effort into content, to continuing to grow this website, give him a darn break! He works countless hours without a break whatsoever, he works day in and day out and you tell him to get better content when he is working hard. It has been nothing but trolls and insults and rudeness towards him and the entire team. We lost one staff cause of ex staff being rude... It's driven him to a mental breakdown. I'm sorry but I have to vent because enough is enough with all of this. So the news I have is that Chris has decided with my help and suggestions to take a leave of absence from the administration side of things. However he will not be steering away from podcasts notes, Entertainment Man Podcast & Power Rangers Collaboration Podcast and he will tweet updates from time to time when he's not busy to say hi or any updates on the podcast planning but I will also be tweeting and posting to social media as well. 

            Chris has been unhappy for nearly 2 months now and I saw this coming even before I took over the role of Community Manager and been around the ChrisBOnTheWeb Socials and the website. I may be taking on a bigger role within the team as Administrator but I will also be still pertaining the Community Manager role as normally. I am just taking on a second role while boss man is away getting better and dealing with his depression. Honestly I can say this, Chris has thought about giving me full Ownership and stepping down as Owner of the website and group but glad he has decided to do this and I've been trying to get him to take time away from the admin side of things to focus on the project aspect. Do not worry I was one of the 2 between myself and Mark who helped and built the menu bar and social media buttons on the website so I do have experience in coding and I previously helped him with the Original ChrisBOnTheWeb.com on that other provider that Chris doesn't really like... Finally you will be seeing more posts from me unless Chris decides to pop on to say hi and do a post. Do not worry, he is going to be back and when is the question as I cannot really tell you guys at this point when he is planning to start doing his normal everyday duties. Let's just hope he doesn't have to take another leave again cause of you trolls. Let me give you a warning, you once insult us or disrespect us, you will be banned and not allowed back. We have no room for trolls as wanna keep things flowing well and have been flowing well with new programming coming soon to the website. I will address that this week at some point. 

Jim, CBOTW Admin/Community Manager

I Admit I Haven't Been Myself Lately....

              I do admit it, I haven't been myself and stress and handling so much at once doesn't really help either which is definitely not a good thing. I think I am just taking on too much and letting the drama get to me and that obviously rowels me up and I end up not sleeping at night or I just end up back in a slump again. I think a few things that is probably bothering me is not just the workload for ChrisBOnTheWeb but also since Ruth Ann and Kevin passed, I have struggled with it recently and I am not using this for views I am just being open and honest and I have been keeping it very quiet to today's post and only post I will make. I know it will take some time to heal and I am glad I continued to work on ChrisBOnTheWeb and keep myself busy and probably the best thing to keep busy and my mind off the pain.  

               The next thing is the stuff going on behind the scenes here and it has been completely crazy drama recently and I am trying to steer clear of it happening but it's been almost a week since it happened and things have slowly quieted down for us and we're doing everything that we can to make sure there is no more problems. Anyways let's move on to my mental health has not been the best lately with this pandemic recently and it's actually started to drag me down where I have been stuck in the house a lot more then usual and just not use to being at home all the time, I am use to going out, being with friends, going to Staples and I know I have to hang in there and there will be a day and time when I will be able to do that all again hopefully soon but for the most I have to get my parents to drive me and pick me up which is fine with me. I will bounced back and I already have, I have been smiling in the last 12 + hours and it is definitely a start. I am just taking it one day at a time and the fact I have started being up during the night again doesn't help but I am going to lie down and sleep when my body tells me to. I think it has to do with the fact I do not really go anywhere and that I am home majority of the time so my body is a bit thrown off but again I am taking one day at a time and honestly that is what I need to do.

Chris

I Am Over 2020.. SMH!

            I am so over this year. This year has been the worse not just me, ChrisBOnTheWeb... I had a host for Big Brother Canada Recaps but things ended up going wrong and not just the start of things Big Brother Canada was shortened and of course the podcast you all knew and loved was cancelled entirely as we just did not know what was to happen in the way of Reality TV Shows minus Big Brother 22, Tough As Nails and Amazing Race. We found out there will be no Survivor and I was just getting so overwhelmed with it, I ended up turning the podcast loose and it has been archived. Don't get me wrong Reality Teas, Billy and Larry were great through all the things and they were right I had to do what makes me happy.  Anyways on top of that I had 2 people I knew, one from softball and the other person I knew from High School which she was a classmate of mine in Home Ech. So this year has had it's up's and down with depression and frustrations to mental health being really bad this year. 

           I am just over with 2020 and with this virus or pandemic, it's really made me to readjust my everyday schedule even for myself and the Staff of ChrisBOnTheWeb. As you know I put our studio on lock down  Anyways I am just ready for 2021 and a fresh start to a new year to be honest as I am just tired of all of this and it's been nothing but one thing after another to be honest. Another thing I would like to mention I have been on and off with the depression since being locked up in the house for the past but I am trying to hang in there to be honest but 2020 really stunk this year. I am just ready for Christmas and the New Year to come and bring in a new year for us. I just cannot wait till I have freedom to roam around the city again and I know that day is going to come. I already spoke about my parents taking me to the mall and I take the bus back but that's much later, I am not ready for that stage yet. I am only taking 5 - 12 minute bus trips for now as I am still very much uncomfortable right now. Anyways I cannot wait till the end of the year and wish it would HURRY UP! lol.

Chris

2 Weeks In Self Isolation!

           It has been 2 weeks since I have been in self isolation and honestly going a little crazy and been sleeping a ton during the day and up the night time working on things so right now I am the complete opposite of what my sleep was when I was out and about and honestly. However when I was up and about what did I do? I worked on the podcast obviously and made sure it was up on time and that has obviously been an issue lately with me getting it up on time. However you guys still get the podcast one way or another but I need to get back on track. Also I have been trying to watch Power Rangers Time Force and going to be working on that today after my 15 - 20 min outing to the bank so I am able to pay my parents for rent or my butt is out the door but I know they wouldn't do that. One thing I do not really have to do is get my bus pass and I need to get in touch with the transit company here to find out where I can get it as things that aren't essential are closed right now due to the virus.  Either way I am still working on things and as I said in Sunday post, I am working on things slowly at a slower pace but I think with me not sleeping well is coming to an end and I will get a more steady sleep. 


              So with that please bare with me through this hard times and I can honestly I haven't been myself,  I have been depressed and just fed up of being at home 24-7. I know it is what we have to do right now and gotta deal with it and try and hang in there but again I have really and am struggling on a daily basis and not sure how much longer my mental health can take it honestly. However everyday I am fighting the mental health and depression and honestly it is one day at a time and I've had headaches cause I'm stressing myself out and just cannot wait till things get back to normal honestly and when is the question as I'm not doing well mentally and nothing I can do to help me cope with being home 24-7. I am going to the cemetery with my dad to take down wreaths  and don't worry I will be safe as I am going to be in the car and there will not be anyone there so I should be OK but having second thoughts going now but my parents understand why I don't wanna go but I have to decide soon what I wanna do. I can stay in the car if I wish and might just do that but again I gotta do what's best for me and my friends told me to go it'll be good for me so I am going to do that and from here on out after that I am back in Isolation and staying in my area. No more long trips.



Chris

My Mental Health Is Not Great & Updates....

            My sleep is really weird right now and probably has to do with being isolated for nearly 2 weeks now and honestly will be talking about that this week on Tuesday if I remember correctly to when that post is going up. I have found myself sleeping way to early and up during the night like I use to which I really wanna get myself back to a normal routine even with me home 24-7 recently and just hope this is over soon as I am struggling on a daily basis and I just do not know how much longer I can hold out being in isolation but don't forget I am with my parents so that gives me someone to talk to honestly. However what I really meant is I'd like to see other people as it has been hard not to see friends and even texting, IM chatting online or Discord/Skype but more in person. I kind of feel what the sims feels at time desolate not seeing other people and I am starting to sound like Sims. I know my parents been trying to keep me occupied during these tough times. I know I haven't been the most impatient person during these tough times but there is nothing I can do. I can go out for walks and plan to go to the bank with my mom to get out of my area and isn't far to go really. However I am going to more then likely stay in the car but we'll see how I feel. 


             I really haven't been too motivated to do much and trying to get the content out to you guys as much as I can and trying some new things out for the podcast. I think this week I will be taking a small break from bonus episodes but promise you guys I will get back to a every second week schedule after this week.  I am also taking my time off and I may change my time off schedule and work Monday through Fridays this way I take off weekends which means I need to keep to my schedule which is:

7 Days a Week: Blog posts
Sundays: Entertainment Man Podcast- post up the episode @ 1 pm EST
Wednesdays: Entertainment Man Bonus Podcast- Record Bonus episode
                        Entertainment Man Podcast- Record Regular episode
Thursdays: Entertainment Man Podcast- post up bonus episode @ 1 pm EST (Every second week)
Fridays: Entertainment Man Podcast- Sneak Peek @ 1 pm EST


            There is my timetable honestly and looks very busy but the odd weeks that I am not doing the bonus I will always be doing other content or getting that content ready but this schedule will be temporary as I think working during the week is what I need so this will all start Tuesday so tomorrow I will be off then Tuesday through Friday then off during the weekends for the time being until this "Self Isolation" is done and could be another 2 - 3 months where I will not be able to get out but it depends how quickly they can get the vaccine figured out and it will take time to make it and test it out and then administer it to everyone. So I will hang in there and I will talk further what I have been up to during self isolation on Tuesday.



Chris

I Am Feeling Alot Better!

               Lately I have been feeling depressed and some of it has to do with some of things that I have had to deal with lately which I am not going into any detail whatsoever about it. However, I have noticed since making changes in my life and getting rid of the negativity around me in my life, I have felt a ton better. Just been a ton more productive in the last month then ever. I have worked so hard on the podcasts and collaboration Podcast. I have actually worked on things and honestly it has kept me busy and not thinking the fact that I am depressed. Honestly I also found going out and about really keeps my mind off of things and fresh air is definitely a good thing. I can use yesterday for example. I went out and about not once but twice I was out and I will explain this. I had to run errands for today, let's put it lightly I had to refill my Presto card so I can travel on the GO Train today on my journey to Toronto with my dad. Also I decided to grab a Ice Cap on the way to the bus and it is nice to reward myself too. Now the second time after I got home and got some work done I took  an hour or so to myself to just take a mental break from things. So being back outside felt really good honestly and was an excuse to get my steps in for the day and I almost doubled my everyday 6k steps. 


               The Point is I feel really good and today is going to make me feel even a lot better as you know I am going to be back out and about today and the fact, I get away from the studio is a good thing and fresh air really clears my head. Moving forward you will see a very focused and happier Chris. Yes some days I will have my moments but don't we all have moments. I believe that is what you call daily life. Life throws us Lemon, as the saying goes? I have noticed recently been taking more time to myself, getting out and about during the days minus weekends most of the time I am home. However when I am home, I take time to even go for 30 - 40 minute walks and getting out and about. I can be honest I am not one for just sitting around, I have to move around. I am a doer not a sitter so to speak. Also I haven't really been running many errands for CBOTW and I need to get out to run those errands. I haven't had a chance with the editing of the most recent podcasts that has or is going up on the website. I am going to continue to go out and about as it is truly helping and anything to get my mental health back to normal.



Chris