Update on my Anxiety

              As you know I have recently was diagnosed with Anxiety which my world was turned upside down with doctor appointments to just figure things out on what was going on with me. Now that I have seen the psychologist and properly diagnosed with Anxiety, I have been put up on my regular meds and also started on anxiety meds. I started with one pill then 2 pills a week later. It took some time for the meds to take effect in my system. 

             However weeks later, I am noticed I am not as anxious and I still get anxiety but it isn't as bad and I've learned to deal with it on my own. However I am not as jittery as before, I am able to focus on my work and getting it done in a timely fashion. So I am very thankful for the pills I am on and it has helped my mental health a lot better. I will be in a program to get more tools to help me deal with anxiety. That is a bit of an update on things and I am doing better each and every day and as always I will talk to you all tomorrow for another blog post.

Chris

This Week's Been Odd...

             This week has been odd with the content. While dealing with the drama in the family and my mental health has taken a turn for the worst. I have had to redo over and over again the blog post especially with collab gone into tovsey turvy downward spiral at the time. However that is probably changing but lots to rectify at the moment. So today's post was trashed apparently as I had to shift a bunch of the posts here on the website around cause of my stupidity and not thinking clearly whatsoever. 

              I've not been thinking straight whatsoever and my mind has been all over the place some family stuff that went on Monday and I haven't really worked much on content for you guys and I need to get to work on the collabs especially. I hope the next couple of weeks I can really focus on the content so this way you guys get the good quality content you want to hear. Anyways this week may have been odd but I am back on track slowly but surely and as always I will talk to you all tomorrow!

Chris

My Head has Been Going Crazy The Last Several Days!

          It has been crazy the last few days inside my head, I had a lot of drama to deal with, stress of ChrisBOnTheWeb and drama in the community.... Yeah their has been community drama again from former staff. I'm done giving chances to people. I've been wish I'd have the virus and die from it. People are truly sickening. No wonder I've been unable to focus on content cause of people being jerks for no apparent reason. 

        My head hasn't been in the game recently but I have been trying hard to get things done and I have been, trust me. It has been one thing after another of problems. I probably had to update things on the website too and too much on my plate right at this time. However I am trying and am going to aim to be finished all the notes for the next podcast by Wednesday next week so I can focus. I have had a lot on my plate lately and need to re-focus and get things done at a bit of a faster pace. Anyways that is what is going on with me right now, I will talk to you guys tomorrow.

Chris

Not Sure Where My Heads At Right Now....

               With everything happening here at CBOTW Studios, I do not know what to do with ChrisBOnTheWeb right now. Everything is a mess and times ticking to getting the notes done so I guess first step is working on the notes first between today and tomorrow I need to put a dent into the notes so I can get it done before a week tomorrow that is the most ultimate goal for right now. I will be recording either Friday or Saturday morning so it will be a last minute recording session if I need to but these notes are # 1 priority at this moment. 

              I promise you guys I will have the episode for Sunday ready and raring to go for Sunday. I know it's immense pressure but I strive under pressure when it comes to getting things out and getting things done for recording sessions with Larry especially. I just gotta get my head straightened out so I can focus on the task at hand as I will be making a b-line straight to the end of the year as I still got two more seasons to work on so I will be working a lot and I'll be home more anyways as my mom having surgery done tomorrow so will be home more taking care of her. That is the post for today, I will talk to you all tomorrow for the end of the week updates.

Chris

Noticed Some Days Are Better Then Others!

                    The las tweek or so has been tough on me with the stress and drama on my team I've found myself at times, distancing myself from the team and social media aspect of this. I shouldn't ever be doing that, I need to keep being active and tweeting minus last night which we had a power outage in studio  and that put me over the edge as I was suppose to  technically suppose to talk  to Eric which I am by this morning by the time you guys are reading this. I notice I am flying off the handle with my team and they realize this too and been super patient with my mood swings in and out. I notice when I get in my moods also, I get quite angry and I also can become very quiet or I still have a really bad habit of running my mouth which isn't good at all. I rather just go quiet when I'm in one of my moods more then anything to be quite honest. 

                    Other days I am happy and smiling and talkative and today is one of those days despite being up at 1:30 am EST this morning. Today is a bit of a better day and I am putting behind the past and going to move forward because great things are coming to the podcast, I can tell you guys that. I just gotta keep positive and yes the days I am up during the night cause I sleep early, I am not afraid to take a nap if I need to and I will for sure. I am stuck at home my sleeping habits have been off kilter then normally and I expected that to happen but I am taking it one day at a time and that is all I can really do. That is my post for today, I will talk to you all tomorrow!

Chris

How Am I Handling My Mental Health?

            Today I wanna focus on how I am dealing with it. Some days are are good where I am fully functioning and other days not so much such as Saturday into Sunday as I got devasting news with a former site admin has passed away on top of the other sad news as well, it's just overwhelming for me and we all mourn differently and one of the reasons why I sometimes am quiet. I'm not bottling it in, just the way I am dealing with all of this really. I know and I hear this from my team every single day that my mental health comes first and I know that but if I take time for myself then I fall behind schedule. I should take time at least an hour or two if I am feeling down and I did on the weekend. An unhappy Chris is a unmotivated person like I have been recently. Sometimes I just do not wanna take my medication for my Autism and that is no excuse to skip it because I am totally not myself.

            I need to stay on the medication or I will not be able to focus and get the job done. I know I have a website to go on or phone numbers to call but I just do not feel like talking to anyone about what's going on but might have to force myself to make the call or send the text out. I need to be focused to get things out at a timely fashion. Yes work is a priority and I enjoy Executive Producing and Hosting Podcasts but I have to remember I as a person comes first. It is not easy to stay positive and in the last year, been working hard to becoming a more positive person and be happier. Last week, Thursday afternoon I was happy because I was getting vaccinated and that put a smile so I am starting to smile but it's one thing and one day at a time. Anyways that is what I have to say and I promise to work on getting better and thank you from th bottom of my heart to those who have checked in on me. I will see you all in my next post tomorrow.

Chris