I Admit I Haven't Been Myself Lately....

              I do admit it, I haven't been myself and stress and handling so much at once doesn't really help either which is definitely not a good thing. I think I am just taking on too much and letting the drama get to me and that obviously rowels me up and I end up not sleeping at night or I just end up back in a slump again. I think a few things that is probably bothering me is not just the workload for ChrisBOnTheWeb but also since Ruth Ann and Kevin passed, I have struggled with it recently and I am not using this for views I am just being open and honest and I have been keeping it very quiet to today's post and only post I will make. I know it will take some time to heal and I am glad I continued to work on ChrisBOnTheWeb and keep myself busy and probably the best thing to keep busy and my mind off the pain.  

               The next thing is the stuff going on behind the scenes here and it has been completely crazy drama recently and I am trying to steer clear of it happening but it's been almost a week since it happened and things have slowly quieted down for us and we're doing everything that we can to make sure there is no more problems. Anyways let's move on to my mental health has not been the best lately with this pandemic recently and it's actually started to drag me down where I have been stuck in the house a lot more then usual and just not use to being at home all the time, I am use to going out, being with friends, going to Staples and I know I have to hang in there and there will be a day and time when I will be able to do that all again hopefully soon but for the most I have to get my parents to drive me and pick me up which is fine with me. I will bounced back and I already have, I have been smiling in the last 12 + hours and it is definitely a start. I am just taking it one day at a time and the fact I have started being up during the night again doesn't help but I am going to lie down and sleep when my body tells me to. I think it has to do with the fact I do not really go anywhere and that I am home majority of the time so my body is a bit thrown off but again I am taking one day at a time and honestly that is what I need to do.

Chris

Depression: How I Deal With It On A Regular Basis!

              I have had a rough go in the last year with staff betraying me and turning their backs on me and the change from YouTube to Podcasting field and I have had my share of depression and dealing with it quite often enough when stressed or this heat is driving me nuts, I tend to get down and depressed. 

               
                A few ways I deal with the depression are watching funny TV Shows such as Home Improvement, The Three Stooges, which I gotta say The Three Stooges will really lift my mood up and some of the days it doesn't help and that's OK, I just try to take it easy if that is the case I just try to deal with the situation to the best of my ability and try to keep a positive mind and some days when I am not having it and just don't wanna do crap for all, I just decide to play video games for a while or for the remainder of the night and get back to my task at hand in the morning when my mind is fresh and good to go.  That is the strategy when I am down and depressed on those particular days. I don't give up but sometimes walking away and leaving it be till the next day. Just yesterday if I remember I got back into catching up with Big Brother 19 Which I was behind 5 episodes from the past week and Amazing Race Canada 5 which I am not sure what in the world got me motivated, yes I have been down and depressed the last few days and I guess that motivation and drive came out of me wanting to get back to and catching up on the podcasts and now I am doing a blog post to catch up on these too! I guess when I get depressed, the drive and passion was there in my head, wanting to catch up with things try to continue on with Chris B On The Web. 


                    As long as I got that passion and drive to continue on with Chris B On The Web which is probably a good thing. These days I try to forget I am depressed and try and live my daily life to the fullest, it may not be easy but I try to make the best out of it everyday to the best of my ability and not worry about what makes me down and depressed, sometimes it catches up to me someday's I am so distracted, I am just purely just focused on the task at hand and it sometimes works and sometimes it doesn't. It truly depends what mood I am in, some days I dont wanna have it with any of my website and not do anything, some days like the last day or so, I wanna catch up like this week, which is good there is motivation still there for me.



Have a great night!



Chris

Depression...

Lately, I have been feeling really depressed with people accusing me of starting drama when they are the one's messaging me and starting the conversation. Then losing 4 friends over that situation, so I think I am staying with the people who care about me, because every time something like this or a friend turns their back on me like the one person did recently and I tell you, when I get depressed it lingers for 4 - 5 days sometimes more... Sometimes I can go out of it where I don't smile anymore... I haven't smiled much lately with the recent drama in my life... Also friends turning on me for no apparent reason as well that is making me a bit on the depressed side. 

That is not the only thing that I am depressed about is the fact I have not been in a relationship with anyone since my EX Girlfriend down in Ohio. I have found it hard and a struggle to find someone I can share with and has the same passions as I do. But someday soon I hope to find a girlfriend and never know where that will take me, I could end up married and maybe even find myself being a dad in the near future. But honestly I just gotta remain being myself and try to laugh a bit more and I have in the last 24 hours now watching the Meathead, Arrrrchie, Little Gorl and The Dingbat aka All In The Family from the 70's. For those who don't me that well yet and who read my blog didn't know I love the old TV comedy shows. So that is my positive get away from the life drama being thrown at me watching a few or in my case almost an entire season of All In The Family. And it lifts up my spirits quickly. Other thing that helps is me listening to T Swift (Taylor Swift)- Shake It Off https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM or Avicci- Wake me up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_KJAg8bHI  Hope this helps you with depression if you got it and feeling depressed, take a listen to it. 


Have a great Tuesday!


Chris