I Was Going Bat Crazy At The End of September.

              I admit I went a bit crazy at the end of September but that is what happens when you end up with tons of things on your plate. If you know I have a blog to write everyday and on top of that a podcast record weekly as well which sure as heck makes me one busy person. Also it is that time of the year where I am preparing for The Autism Celebration which is a week tomorrow and I will talk more about and I have been busy prepping and no time to actually talk about it at the moment but it is coming in less then 2 days and I will talk more about the details about the event. But I admit it, I am not even done with the board for the Autism Celebration as there has been other projects on the go for me so it has been quite hard and I admit I am having doubts how the heck to do the actual board and I am questioning it all together as it doesn't look right but it will look great regardless what I think about it in the end. I have a week to finish this up or I will not get any of this done if I just let it sit there and not do a darn thing but tomorrow will be working it.


                I think I found it hard with the work load but I didn't really feel the motivation before I left for Minnesota but now since I have been back I have been working extra hard. I hope tonight to work on the Autism Celebration booth I have planned. I know I am not having it tonight as last night was once again really tough in the sleep department but I think I will sleep fine tonight for once. However, I struggle the next night still so I am not sure what is the problem. I think all of this has to do with the two things I said above at the end of September, sleep which I have gone back to my old ways with my dang sleep. The second part is the work load and how I handle it but I am getting defintiely better at handling my stress and there will be a post about that soon how I am able to handle my stress and how I am able to handle things much better. That is my post for today, it is not as long as the last couple of days but yea I was going a bit bat crazy towards the end of the month but we all do from time to time when we got a lot on our plate! 



Chris

Been Feeling A Bit Down In The Last 2- 3 Days...

                 I cannot hide the facts that I haven't been myself lately and my moods have been all the over the place, there has been days I didn't want to take my medication for my PDD (Autism) but it's more the fact I feel like I wasted my time giving someone who was earning my trust back with it going out the window and really fast. That has been dragging me down in the last 2 - 3 days, just trying to figure out how to deal with this and to keep up with taking my medication as I know and experience, if I do not take it, then my temper is pretty bad and my friends have seen and do not want to see me miserable and unhappy and I really appreciate that family and friends have been there for me in the past but yes I hid the really facts why some posts weren't constructed well on social media, I just had that I don't really wanna post anything right now, not in the mood. You can tell by my voice for those who are on the Facebook Group live I did yesterday morning on my big adventure yesterday.


                 I am really grateful for great family members and friends who I can count on to cheer me up when I am down in the dumps and recently that has been the case. My friend and former staff member from my previous life as a YouTube is a prime example, he was able to calm me down within a few minutes as I was really fired up and I won't get into specific details of the situation as that is personal but he was able to calm me down and get me to change my mind about going out yesterday and enjoying the day out and trust me I sure did enjoy myself so much I wanna do it again soon! LOL. 


                   Which brings me to today, since i was back late and I am talking late, late like 11 - 11:15 pm EST which was well worth I tell you! But today I slept into today almost till noon but my mom woke me up as she was going out today so it was all good but been moping around the house and the studio today trying to get the Big Brother Canada 6 Cast Preview Podcast notes done and over with but no beef with getting it up tonight but if you tuned into the last podcast, I covered all my bases the other day as I said it would of been today or tomorrow. So today has not been a good day, been struggling all day, just really hope and pray tomorrow is a better day for me and I hope I can perk up and be happy again.

Have a great night!


Chris

My Mental Health Is No So Good Once Again...

              It's not like I didn't take my meds for my Persuasive Development Disorder (PDD) or also known as autism but today wasn't a great day and my friends ensured me none of this was my fault. But I feel responsible for my actions towards knocking the chair over and dropping my Contiago cup which is medal to the floor spilling the rest of my drink onto the floor making a mess, then grabbing my jacket and walking out the door with me kicking it further on the floor then knocking over the wet floor sign, out the door, then proceeding to kick the garbage can and spill the rest of my drink on the ground from the bottle then the rest of the day is history. 


               Now, I haven't had a mental breakdown this bad since April of last year and it is very concerning to me to when my moods gets this bad but I wonder if it is because of my lack of sleep in the last several days is what could be the culprit behind it as you all know I have been busy with the website recently, podcasts and the blog, I am not surprised I can hold in all this stress in for this long. Only a few people know what is going on with me with the lack of sleep problem but not everyone knew what was going on, only 2 friends if I remember knew about it. Now I ended up scratching my poor hand open and it's the first time since July of last year this has happened which is a good thing, I am not making it a habit of me doing that constantly to myself, so I am learning to not do harm to myself but I need to continue on with sticking to my strategies I have learned in the past year and a half almost now and keeping up with it. Now I walked away, however I could of gone without kicking my cup on the floor or knocking the wet floor sign or kicking the garbage can and things could of been better. But also I could of gone without hurting myself. However with me just deciding to go home, that was a smart move on my part and should of left sooner then sticking around, this could of been prevented but I of course listened to my friends advice and I always appreciate my friends sticking up for me or being supportive of me. 


                 There is a long road to my mental health getting better and I think without friends that turn on me on a dime or wants to cause problems ,I was in a much happier place till today happened. With my current circle of friends and my family supporting me, I know I can not self harm myself, I know I can control my anger and frustrations if people try to start trouble, I gotta just work harder and use my strategies and I know I will be a happier person and always smiling like I have in the past few weeks.


Have a great night!


Chris

Stress And How I Deal With It

               With all the mass chaos going on in the last month, the website going down for a long week and a half and the end of the summer season of Everything About Reality TV Podcast turned my world upside down with stress. So you probably wondering how do I deal with the stress of podcasts, blogs, trolls on social media? Well for the podcasts I have my schedule but as you know my life is busy and I go by a calendar and I find it quite helpful for recording. The recording can go off schedule at times due to very hectic schedule or personal life in the way or just spending time with the family but that's OK because I utilize and let you guys know if there is going to be a blog post missed or podcasts have to be re-scheduled for any reason out there.  


                  In the way of workload, well I write a list with the most important thing to do to the least, as you know I was behind podcasts at the end of the summer season and plus the website completely down due to technical issues with the website that became the very last and least priority on my list as I needed to catch up on podcasts first before the website came up on that priority list. The fact to get caught up on podcasts and get content out to you guys in the way of podcasts and plus the podcasts are on a schedule meanwhile the website is not on a schedule and I gave the links for the blogspot page and the podcasts links so it made it easier while the website was down so it was easy to temporarily re route everyone to the other links while I did the necessary repairs to the website.So you can see I thought things over before deciding how things will go for re-routing everyone to other links for the time being and those other links are always there and public even outside chrisbontheweb.com. 


                   Now stress doesn't seem to be a problem anymore and I am getting better each and everyday with dealing with stress as I now have the tools on how to deal with problems and deal with the overload of work when I end up adding up the amount of work on a daily basis but my motto is I go with the most important and needs to be done first then work on the next important and so forth. That is how I deal with stress on a regular basis and I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope to catch you on my next post!



Chris

Stress!

            Stress is not a good feeling to have honestly. It messes with your head and sometimes it makes you want to just give up and not give a damn about what you love to do. In this blog today I will be talking about stress and also what you can do when you are stressed out like I have been for the last 11 months since leaving YouTube. 

           So one thing that can get you stressed out is getting over worked, doing too many things at once and I had that problem last year when I was still on YouTube I over worked myself and that isn't good, you have panic attacks, you end up wanting to say is this worth it anymore? You get too much work to do to the point you just don't want to do it anymore, you just want to give up on what you love to do. Going back to the post yesterday if you are stressed out and not feeling you are into this anymore, just follow your heart and do what makes you happy and that doesn't stress you out, like for me YouTube just became a chore each and everyday and I was getting stressed out, not only that but my team getting on my nerves and being disrespectful got to me I just had it with the team situation. Also the fact my channel kind of died and lost views after The Entertainment Man ended kind of put me into a downward spiral. These are a good prime example of a stressful situation that isn't a good thing to have.

             Stress or having stress isn't healthy to have, especially on a daily basis and you need to have a way to deal with the stress. One way to deal with the stress is to put the most important task on the top of the list, here is an example below:

                  1. Blog post
                2. Podcast

                And so forth that is a small example that is one way to deal with the stress. Also you can utilize your calendar whether it is a digital version of a calendar on Google or wherever you would like online but also you can use your physical calendar on your desk to schedule the tasks you have or if you got appointments like I always have appointments to go to every week, I am always out and about at appointments on a regular basis and I always bring my calendar with me in my portfolio book to book the next appointment so I recommend to do the same so this way you can book the next appointment and you go into your calendar and see, oh I have another appointment 2 weeks this day or next week, this way you do not forget or I have to do this on this set day and make sure its done and ready for the due date you pick. There is many ways to deal with stress, if it is just very, very overwhelming take a break for a few hours or for the day and deal with it the next day which I will get into taking a break in a future blog post in the upcoming days but sometimes you just need to decompress and I did that after Big Brother Canada finished it's 5th season, took the entire weekend off and went on a mini break. Also if you are stressed out go to a dollar store and buy a stress ball and slowly not fast squeeze trust me I've done it and tried it and it has helped but stupid me I lost the stress ball and gotta find it or get a new one. Hope this helps you guys that feel stressed out and I am not a professional help just another human being giving advice and any questions please feel free to contact me through the contact page of my website here: chrisbontheweb.com/contact/ 

Have a great night everyone!



Chris

Feeling Good!

        With the recent events that has gone on, I am starting slowly come around and be a bit happier then I have been over the last 4 days.  However, I am still depressed on and off and my sleep has been completely derailed in the last few days, meaning someday's I sleep normal, some nights I sleep at 6 pm till midnight then up throughout the night. However I am more up and open to talking to my parents compare to the last few days I've been very quiet but today I am very talkative person and more open to talking to my friends, neighbors and family.  Today I also feel like podcasting, like getting the podcasts that are missing up on chrisbontheweb.com, podcasts.com, stitcher.com & TuneIn! Which surprised me entirely that I wanted to get caught up with the missing podcasts that were missing and as of tonight I will be caught up on last week but tomorrow I am doing my Amazing Race 29 Preview Podcast and of course my Survivor Game Changers Recap Podcast but I have to take one thing at a time and in time I will be entirely caught up with podcasts right to the end of the week and I can rest easy on the weekend. There will be no more preview podcasts to worry about till the summer time when BB19 and Amazing Canada comes out so it will not be a worry. Yea I am still depressed and stressed out but I cannot leave my site as it is with no content so right now I am playing catch up. But being back in the saddle of the podcast and I am finally getting back to normal slowly. I think I will end up going back onto FB Sunday, think a week will be good enough of a break for me and everything will go back to normal and I will not have to worry about the people causing me drama anymore.


Sorry for the short post but have a great night!



Chris

Not Been The Greatest...

This is the hardest blog I have ever written, so much rushing through my mind right now to what to say.... Since more friends wanna turn their backs on me, it has put me into a complete tail spin of a downward spiral, I had one heck of a meltdown and hurt myself pretty bad. Today my mood is kind of somber, I am very quiet, haven't had much to eat just toast and peanut butter and probably wont be eating anything else today. I threw my Contigo cup against the old TV and I'm surprised it didn't crack the freakin screen. I doubt it'd work over the abuse its had recently... Ha ha. I am trying to smile a lot more today but its hard to crack a smile with the recent situation. I've pretty well turned on a group of people who care so much about me and my well being, but at this point I feel like I can't trust certain people, feel like I am unable to trust anyone who is my friend because they will turn on me in a dime. Had that happened this year with 3 people and 2 last year being 2 long friendships that have it's best times and it's worst times. I've been avoiding Facebook this week so far but minimal communication with people, such as people who have IM'd me back to make sure I am ok and also my Staff (My Team) I am keeping direct contact with so I can make sure everything is still going to plan. YES! I am trying to keep things as normal as possible when it comes to the operating of Chris B On The Web. I may be dealing with my Mental Health right now but I still want to get stuff out too as well ON Time and not fall behind like last year. Even if I ended up in the hospital, I probably be behind a few podcasts if I stayed over night or a few days but glad I am home and resting and trying to deal with this on my own terms which I should give props for as I am giving it my will power to try and deal with this on my own and I know I do have the option to walk into the Emergency to the crisis unit to talk to someone if I felt like I am still out of control and I feel out of control in my head still, my head is all over the place right now dealing with this, just not sure where my head is at these days with all the friendships falling apart and I just do not know who my friends are anymore in my real life, I just don't feel like I am wanted on Facebook and close to 100% wanting to delete my Facebook account and give certain friends and family my email to keep in touch, that's it.  I got till Sunday as I am taking the week off from the site to decided whether I am returning to Facebook or not. Now mind you I got family on there and high school and college friends, however maybe I need to be careful who I add and trust around my email and Facebook friends list at this point. Yes this is real life friends too I am talking about. Anyways that is the update what is going on with me and why I have been a bit quiet on Twitter and behind the podcasts especially.


Have a great night!


Chris